Warning: This is a wordy post. Feel free to
scroll through to the pictures.
Today is my mother’s birthday and she would have turned 83
if she were still alive. Instead, a sarcoma took her from our lives last month
after a short, but devastating battle. Today is also the day that both of my
parents reach their final resting place on earth with their burial in Gate of
Heaven, a mere formality since they are quite nicely settled into their rooms
prepared for them by God (John 14:1-6).
Last summer, after my dad passed away, also from a sarcoma,
Brianna and I stayed with Mom – Brianna for the whole summer, me for a couple
of weeks. During that first week, Mom told us that she wanted to do things
outside of the house without having to be aware of the time. (Mom had been
Dad’s caregiver throughout his battle with cancer.) One day we ventured to Skyline
Caverns and took the long way along Skyline Drive. When we stopped to take in
the view, Brianna snapped a picture of the three of us, one that carries strong
memories.
I felt the need to make a card for my mom today, but with
her being a Depression baby and never wanting anything to go to waste, I worked
with a sentiment other than happy birthday, Mom.
This card is an homage to her love of quilts and her ability
to deal with adversity. It is also an acknowledgement of the last few months.
The following is from a note to a forum friend written the day after my mom’s
death:
My
mom passed away yesterday morning, which is truly a blessing. The radiation
treatments weren't helping Mom, so her doctors recommended that she go on
hospice. She started with Hospice of Virginia - they were fabulous - right
after Mother's Day. While she had good days and bad, the good were noticeable
because they were so few in number. This last week, she wasn't able to get out
of bed, could barely communicate and seemed to be in pain even while on pain
meds. She developed a high fever Thursday evening and passed away Friday
morning after having about four peaceful hours of rest.
I've been with my mom since April. Although I would much prefer that she never
had cancer and was still living, I am grateful that I had these past two months
with her and all it included. I feel closer to my mom and sisters after this
challenge; have a greater appreciation for life and death; and learned and
confirmed some interesting things about myself as a daughter, sister and
person.
We are all still a little numb. Our lives have centered around my mom and her
needs, so without medicine schedules, potty chair breaks, etc., we are feeling
lost. I am so grateful that she is no longer in pain and is in a better place,
but I do miss holding her hand.
I realize this post has jumped around a bit, sort of like my
mind lately. I seek your indulgence and have decided to end with this quote
that my mom kept near her:
This I will remember
When the rest of life is through,
The finest thing I’ve ever done
Is
simply loving you!
supplies:
paper: rustic cream c/s (PTI); ancestry.com
(K&Company)
stamps: Happy Hexagons and Quilter’s Sampler
(PTI)
ink: robin’s egg and dune pigment
(Colorsnap); vintage sepia dye (VersaFine)
dies: hexagon cover plate (PTI)
My Eulogy to Mom given on June 15, 2012.
If any of you have been lucky enough to have a mother in
your life, you probably learned the same basics that our mom taught us.
How to iron – we started our lessons on Dad’s handkerchiefs.
How to cook – actually, Mom preferred her sweets, so we
learned how to bake first… cookies, cherry crisp, angel food cake.
How to clean – including the inside of the toilet tank.
How to trim rose bushes – remember to cut above the
five-leaf cluster.
How to be patient – you should try waiting in the grocery
store for Mom to finish a conversation… especially as a little kid.
And the list goes on and on.
We were beyond lucky, though, because we were blessed with a
mother who taught us about more than the basics. Mom taught us about love, all
aspects of it. Although, truly, what is more basic than love?
Every day, Mom showed us her love of and respect for life
and her love of God for giving her that life. Her actions and her words let us
know how grateful she was for (almost) each day of her 82 plus years.
Mom’s love of her family shone in the big and little things
she did for us. I remember one instance when Dad was away on a business trip
and something in the house broke. Mom informed Dad about it and told him it
would be waiting for him to fix when he got home. I don’t recall what the item
was, but I knew that Mom could have handled the repair quite easily herself.
When I asked her about it, she told me that it was important to Dad to feel
needed at home, so she left the repair for him.
Mom’s friends held a special place in her heart. With them,
she didn’t have to be wife, mother, sister, daughter with all the expectations
inherent in those roles. With her friends, she could simply be herself – a
pillar of strength at times, a little ditzy other times, a good listener, quick
with a smile, a bit stubborn, and oh so caring. I’ve always felt Mom was the
best mother ever, but I’ve also learned that she is a great friend, too.
Although Mom loved with all her heart, she did not love
blindly. Mom was realistic about those she loved. She knew each of our foibles
and, though they might annoy her, loved us in spite of them. It was either a
case of “I’m not perfect myself” or “There but for the grace of God.” She would
get angry with us or we with her, but forgiveness was always freely given,
which is the greatest lesson of all.
Sitting on top of Mom and Dad’s desk was a scrap of paper with
a verse that Mom had copied. When I asked her about it, she told me that it speaks
to how she feels about love, not only of her husband, but of all those she
loves. This is how it goes:
This I will remember
When the rest of life is through,
The finest thing I’ve ever done
Is
simply loving you!
I love you, Mom.
